a·cu·men [ak-yuh-muhn] noun: keen insight; shrewdness

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Tuesday, 14 October 2014

10/14/14 Disgruntled Oilers Fan: Origin Story

Every super villain needs an origin story...

It was the early summer of 2006. Tens of thousands of Edmonton Oilers fans were beyond excited at the opportunity for their team to win its sixth Stanley Cup. Sadly, it was not to be. And then something went horribly wrong.

For the better part of the following decade, the Oilers became the laughing stock of the league. The foolhardy Ryan Smyth trade was the harbinger of things to come. Years of bad trades, bad signings, and flat out bad management sunk the team to the bottom of the league. Many among the thousands of Oilers faithful began to lose heart.

But at least one fan held out hope that Oilers management knew what they were doing, and that things would soon turn around.

The fan stayed optimistic, even in the face of seasons that were lost by the half-way point. Then, Tom Gilbert was traded and the seeds of doubt began to take hold in him. By July of 2013, things were getting pretty bleak. Finally, it became clear during the 2014 off season that Oilers management still hadn't done enough to get out of the basement, or even to compete. It's going to be nine years in a row out of the playoffs, and eleven of the last thirteen seasons played.

On October 14th of 2014, the fan was walking on a catwalk over a vat of radioactive waste when over the radio he heard that defenseman Jeff Petry was going to be a healthy scratch against the defending Stanley Cup Champions in favor of players that are either too young or too old. The fan felt a blood vessel burst in his forehead, causing him to pass out, flip over the railing of the catwalk and drop two stories - directly into the radioactive ooze.

But he did not die...

A disgruntled Oilers fan was born. The years of losing, the terrible way the team had been handled and the radioactive sludge had twisted the fan into something unrecognizable. He became a super villain of the Oilers world, campaigning mercilessly for the destruction of the group that controlled the team, even relishing their failure if it meant getting closer to his goal.

Perhaps, in time, when the Oilers are no longer rightfully laughed at, he will find peace. But until that day comes, the good fan that had once been is gone.

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